Last night I started a class for foster parenting. At this point, we aren't planning on doing long-term fostering. But we are interested in doing respite care and emergency care. Respite care would be like babysitting for other foster families if they need childcare for an afternoon or weekend. In emergency care the child would only be with us up to 10 days. We could get a call in the middle of the night, but would only have the child until a longer-term foster home is found.
With our kids the ages they are, we would only have the youngest children with us. I'm thinking age 3 max. I get slightly freaked out when I think about being up all night with a scared, crying baby or toddler. I've heard a childcare worker talk about talking care of babies who are drinking formula for the first time and going through withdrawal because they aren't getting their usual alcohol through breast milk. So, we'll see how it goes. Taking this class doesn't lock us into anything, so with that freedom, we're going through with it.
Anyway, I missed the first 3 classes when I was in Indiana, so today I was watching a video to catch up on some of what I missed. Eli watched the last bit of it with me. When it ended he wondered what all that was about. So I reminded him about Marcus who was next door. I explained how some parents sometimes hurt their kids or have big problems so that they can't take care of their kids. I said that sometimes kids aren't safe in their homes, so they need a safe place to stay while their parents work on their problems.
Eli reminded me that sometimes I get grouchy and I reassured him that me and Daddy never punch him or do things like that. The whole subject was, of course, rather heavy. He got very serious and somehow his train of thought moved on to other things. He talked about how he didn't want to make more friends and that he would rather go to his cousins. He said he didn't want to make anymore black or brown friends, only white ones- unless it was a baby. (Not exactly my proudest moment as a mother.) He went on, looking like he was close to tears. Then, with much emotion, Eli said, "It's just hard on me...about the baby...Cause I just want a baby!" Whew! Not sure where all that came from! While I don't want to take it more seriously than I should, it makes me wonder what is going on inside that boy's head! I suspect there is a fair amount of emotion that he doesn't know how to express.
We'll keep working with him... Any ideas?
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4 comments:
Umm. . . have a baby. Seriously, I don't have any good ideas for you. Parents hurting their kids is a very heavy topic. I can understand why Eli was feeling emotional.
Thats tough,But good for you hearing him out, I'm sure he dosen't know how to process all thats going on in his mind. And hey we don't mind if you have another baby!!
Nana
Wow. I think it is definitely time for you and Kendall to start practicing for #3. :) I have to wonder if "baby talk" to Eli feels much safer than inviting an older child in to live with. (Not that you shouldn't, but what it might seem like to him). He has big thoughts going on in that young mind of his!
Karen, I would echol Jodi's sentiments about Eli's comment. I would believe the thought of having another three yr. old in his own private space might feel like a bit of an intrusion. (Not that you should change anything) but in his mind he would likely be quite threatened to have another "outsider"... live in close courters with your little family of four! A (white baby) would be much easier for Eli to accept... b/c in his mind it would be more (normal) whatever normal is?
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