Winter Road

Stormer Lake is halfway to Pikangikum, a reserve where B., a friend of Kendall’s, lives. We’ve been wanting to visit him and decided that this would be a good chance.

Just driving to Pikangikum was a cultural experience. In the summer you have to get in and out by air or by water. In the winter, there is a road. The winter road is not wide at all. You definitely do not see other cars on it. It’s all large pick-up trucks and big rigs. In general, people tend to speed down the road, not seeming to worry too much about getting over for oncoming traffic. Kendall told me about one of his friends who began to feel slighted on the road. He felt like everyone just expected him to get over for them. He had enough and decided that he wasn’t going to get off to the side anymore for oncoming traffic. A scary game of chicken if you ask me. Reportedly, he touched side mirrors with another vehicle as they passed each other. Too close for me!

Meanwhile, in our little car, we were cautious. (Maybe a bit scared too.) The road on Wednesday morning was narrower than usual. It had snowed quite a bit the night before and the road was not yet plowed. So we had a narrow passageway with fairly deep snow on either side. We would see a truck flying toward us and Kendall would get over. However, he didn’t want to stop or slow down too much for fear of getting stuck in the deeper snow. So we would just grit our teeth and plow through.

At one point, a huge gas truck was barreling down the road toward us. Kendall had no choice but to pull off the side of the road into deep snow. We were stuck. Three pick-ups were following the gas truck. Two passed us, but before the 3rd one could get by, Kendall opened his door and asked them to stop. He went to the trunk where he had conveniently stowed a tow strap (which, by the way, we had just found left on the road the day before). The pick-up pulled us out and we were back on our way.

From what I’ve heard, this is just another routine trip on the winter road.

Friends

B. was one of Kendall’s 2 best friends for a large part of his growing up years. His home life was so different from Kendall’s, with siblings in and out of foster care and alcohol abuse in the home, as well as other forms of abuse.

I love to think of Kendall growing up with this important friendship in spite of the huge differences. When we were here to visit over Christmas 2 years ago, B. heard that Kendall was in town and drove his family several hours in from Pikangikum to see Kendall on Christmas Eve. They have been in and out of touch since Kendall moved away at 18, but have seen each other several times since we’ve been living in Red Lake.

B. welcomed Kendall to his home with open arms and a big hug. We only spent an hour or so at his house, but the 2 friends had fun reminiscing. Following is the start to my favorite overheard conversation: B. asked, “Remember when we shot that skunk and we couldn’t be friends for a month?” Apparently B. went home smelling like skunk and was forbidden to hang out with Kendall.

B. is opening a bakery out of his home. He said there are so many “pop and chips” stores in town, this is something that will be new. (He said that when there were only a few people selling pop and chips, they could make $800 a day!) The bakery opens today, in fact, and yesterday they were making yummy things even as we sat in the living room. B. got the donut recipe from one of the Mennonite women here in Red Lake. Kendall teased him about being a Mennonite baker, but later couldn’t stop raving to me about how good the donuts were.

B.’s wife didn’t show up until we were getting ready to leave. She didn’t say much, we just smiled at each other shyly. I have picked up that silence is okay and good in the Native culture. And I remembered when she came with B. to visit us over Christmas. She sat quietly on the couch beside her husband. When I tried to ask her questions, her answers were minimal or she let B. talk for her. So I felt little pressure to make conversation yesterday and just smiled while our husbands talked.

Evan and Eli sat on the couch eating donuts and watching a movie. Their hands were sticky after the donuts. The kitchen was busy with the baking and I didn’t see a washroom in the house- only the outhouse outside. So I quietly told them that they could wipe their hands on their shirts. Evan reported our conversation to Daddy: “Mommy said it’s my lucky day to wipe my hands on my shirt.”

I think it was Kendall’s lucky day too: Drinking coffee in his buddy’s home, talking about the good ol’ days.

Pikangikum

Pikangikum. I have been told that it’s like a third world country. I’ve never been to a reserve since I’m old enough to remember, but I was looking forward to a new cultural experience.

B. has done some remodeling on his house. The walls were nicely painted, he hung drywall on the ceiling and there was new laminate flooring in the house. The bedroom was its own room, but there was no door- just a large, open doorway. The family’s beds were all in the same room. In the middle of the kitchen/living area was an old wood stove to heat the house. It sat there looking to me like a huge danger. But like Kendall said, kids probably quickly learn to stay away from it. It had an open kettle of water on top, giving off steam. I’m assuming this was to add some humidity to the air. I didn’t see a washroom anywhere in the house.
As we drove through Pikangikum looking for B.’s house, I noticed small out-buildings. “Are those outhouses?” I asked Kendall. He didn’t really think so. (I had to go, by the way.) At any rate, Kendall thought B. would have a washroom inside. But when we finally found his house, I saw an outhouse in the yard with the door hanging wide open.

Now I don’t have a terrible aversion to outhouses. (Especially up here as compared to tropical Costa Rica where I regularly used an outhouse among the multitudes of spiders, scorpions, snakes, etc.) In fact, I must say that I pride myself on being okay using the bathroom in a large variety of situations. In a couple places I was in Peru, we didn’t even have outhouses. When I first asked a missionary kid where I could use the bathroom, he told me that most people went out in the street. Well, I waited until I found more suitable information and used a cornfield instead. At one point, there were men working in the mostly-hidden spot where my teammate and I usually used the bathroom. With no outhouse nearby, we finally had to just go behind a mud house with people in sight. So yes, lots of interesting places. (squatty potties, mountaintop, in swarms of mosquitoes, a pit stop during snowmobiling, in Charlie and Marilyn’s pool, etc.) (Just kidding about that last one. I just wanted to freak out those of you who swam with me there.)

But back to the outhouse at B.’s house. I had to go and I’m mostly okay with, though not eager about, outhouses. But I didn’t know if it would be awkward for B. if I asked for the washroom and he, having lived much of his life with indoor plumbing, would have to tell me to go outside. Besides, I can’t say that I was eager to experience the below freezing temperatures in that way. (Kendall pointed out later that it wouldn’t have been that bad- After all, there was Styrofoam on the seat to serve as insulation.)

All of this made me wonder how B. felt about Kendall visiting him in Pikangikum. I think it meant a lot to him. His community is so different from what is normal for us. He lived in Red Lake for so many years. Was it a normal shift for him to go from a home in Red Lake to his home in Pikangikum? They seem so different to me. Maybe it was a relief to move to a place where he wasn’t a minority. Maybe to B., the 2 communities are different, but equal. In my way of thinking, one is better than the other. But I’m so white. Maybe to B., Pikangikum is definitely better. Some of what I put value on is probably frivolous and meaningless to someone in Pikangikum. Our realities are so different. It makes me think anyway…

The Minority

We had heard that there was a KFC and Pizza Hut in Pikangikum. We had to find it. It was hard to imagine, but sure enough, there it was. It was a small section of the Northern store. The Northern store is the store in the community. It has groceries, electronics, clothing, the post office, a place to cash checks, and more.

I walked into the Northern store and I was the minority. I’ve had a fair amount of experience being the only white face in a place, but it has been a long time. I didn’t remember it feeling so awkward. So uncomfortable. No place to hide. There were 2 very long lines going to the customer service desk. There were lots of people, but it was relatively quiet. For some dumb reason, I noticed that Evan had his hat on and was momentarily relieved. The thought that his very blond hair was covered made me feel like maybe we didn’t stick out so much. It was such a small comfort because everything about us stuck out. For one thing, the hat covering his blond hair was red. In fact, his coat was bright red. Eli’s coat had bright blue in it. And Kendall’s and my coats had bright colors in them. I looked around and realized that almost every single person was wearing a black coat. Our brightly colored coats only highlighted the flashing lights that seemed to be going off around the four of us.

It was an awkward experience. Part of me couldn’t wait to get out of there. Another part of me was savoring the moment.

Tonight I asked Eli what he thought about our time in Pikangikum. He said he really liked the movie at B.’s and the orange slush we bought for him and Evan at KFC/Pizza Hut. (Along with the small order of popcorn chicken we paid $7 for.) I asked if he noticed anything about the store: “It had food, like Sobey’s.” I asked if he noticed anything about the people: “They talked different. Some of them.” Finally he said, “Oh, you mean that they were all brown!” I asked him if he liked that, “No.” I told him that I also felt uncomfortable, but that it was good for us. I asked him if he thought that his brown friend, Marco, felt uncomfortable when he first came to Siloam. Eli didn’t think so, but he did have this thought: “That’s the weird thing about our church- Everyone is white!”

It was interesting to me that Eli did notice that everyone was a different color than us, but that it didn’t seem to be a big deal to him. The movie and the slush were much more important to him. I want our kids to enjoy being around people who are different from us. I want them to enjoy learning about different cultures. I love experienced like this for the boys.

Evan couldn't resist the beautiful playground. So he went, snow and all.


This empty school bus stopped at the camp so the driver could make a phone call. (There's a phone that's open for anyone's use.) I thought it was interesting because it's from Deer Lake. That's where I had the privilege of living for a year. Not that I remember it...

(The Photo is the Title)

This is how my husband looked after he finished shaving last night. It gave me the heeby-jeebies. He said he got tired of shaving. This was what was left of his goatee when he threw in the towel. He supposedly shaved off the rest before he went to work this morning.

Seeing this photo reminds me of something that I forgot to add in my post about our afternoon on the snowmobiles. We were sitting side by side on our idling snowmachines. I was asking (loudly) what to do if I got into slush. Kendall motioned with his thumb as if he was giving it gas and replied (loudly), "Give 'er!"

As he sped off ahead of me, I sat there dumbfounded. Did my husband seriously just say "Give 'er" to me? According to Kendall, it's the Canadian equivalent of "Git er done!"

Well then.

We had a good time at Stormer Lake this week. We were there 2 days, but could have handled another day. The boys love the Legos at Marvin and Yvonne’s. (We stayed in their house.) They also had fun playing in the gym, playing outside, riding the tractor with Dad and riding the snowmobiles.

Tuesday afternoon we went ice fishing and were out for 3 hours. We caught 3 fish, but they were all Northern Pike. (Or snot rockets, which is what Eli likes to call them.) We kept them anyway, but didn’t eat them fresh because they are so bony. It works better to grind them up with a few bones left in them and make them into patties. It sounds gross, but we really like it. And for those of you who have experience with Northern Pike, Kendall thinks they’re less stinky in the winter.

Evan declined taking a nap when we were sitting around the warm, cozy living room. He decided to sleep here instead. He fell asleep while riding with me on the snowmobile and we let him sleep in the middle of the lake on a piece of foam.




The following 2 photos are especially for my family after you all pitched in to drill holes in the ice with the hand auger. This auger has a motor. And that makes Kendall feel happy and strong.




Eli playing with the water while Evan sleeps. (Don't worry, Eli would not be able to fall in this hole, but he was stiffly warned to not get his hands or feet wet.)

Keeping the Fires Burning

Once again, we have the privilege of taking care of Stormer Lake Camp while Marvin and Yvonne are gone. Yes, I was just here this weekend, but we're back. We're in charge of keeping the fires going again. (Well, quite honestly, that would be Kendall. I keep the home fires going while he's out with the other fires...Whatever that means.)

It's nice to get away from routine for a couple days and it works well with Kendall's work schedule. We're taking pictures, so I'll post some when we get back home.

A Weekend Away

Last weekend I had the privilege of being part of a massive exodus of women out of Red Lake. We went to Stormer Lake Camp for a scrapbooking weekend. There were actually only 11 of us and 2 weren't even from Red Lake, but still, if you look at the actual population of Red Lake, it was a large percentage of the women.

Anyway, I had a great time. I was really looking forward to it, but also somewhat nervous. I've reached the place where I can confidently call people here "friends." (It took awhile til I felt really comfortable doing that.) I still feel like the new one though. But once I got to Stormer Lake I had a blast. Lots of good conversations (and good food, for that matter) mixed in with scrapbooking. It was a great way to get to know people better.

Thanks to my husband, who made it possible for me to go. Friday night he went to our small group. There he was invited to someone's house for lunch on Saturday. After lunch they took snowmobiles out on the lake. They even had a kid-sized snowmachine that the boys took turns driving. Eli reportedly loved it. Evan- not so much. In fact, I heard through the grapevine that he nearly broad-sided their host on his snowmachine. Disaster was avoided when their host jumped off of his machine and stopped the little one. And, of course, the three musketeers did some manly exploring on Sunday afternoon. It sounded like they had a great time, but they were happy to see me again too.

Kissing

Kendall worked last night. This morning he gave me a hug before he went to bed. Evan was standing in the kitchen with us.

Cautiously, Evan asked, "Are you guys gonna kiss on the lips?" As an answer, we did. But Evan had calmly turned his back and stood there waiting patiently.

"Are you done?" So we kissed more.

"Are you all done?" Then he went and hid under the table.

Finally he yelled over to Eli in the living room: "Mom and Dad are kissing on the lips!"

Ewww! Disgusted, Eli yelled back, "Don't tell me that!"

Arghhh, Matey!

The boys have taken to calling me "Captain." As in "Aye aye, Captain!"

Hey, as long as they're following my orders, it works for me.

Now swab the poopdeck!

Snowmobiling

On Friday Kendall didn't have to go into work until late at night. The temperatures are getting colder again, which is actually welcome after so much slush and ice. So we took advantage of a nice afternoon and headed out on borrowed snowmobiles.

It was so nice out. We had 2 spills. Unfortunately for Eli, he was involved in both. One was with me. I tipped us off, but it was all in slow motion and we were fine. Later Eli was with Kendall and they tipped in some really deep snow. I was behind them and saw them go over. It does give you the heebie-jeebies, even if you are surrounded by soft snow. That time Eli scared us a bit because he had hurt his leg. But we could soon tell by the way he was crying that it wasn't that bad. He quickly recovered.

Bowling Night

Friday night we went bowling with our small group. It was a very good time. It was a first for Eli and Evan. Canadian bowling is different from what we're used to. The ball is very small with no holes, the lanes are shorter, and there are only 5 pins. Also, as you can see in the photos, the equipment is rather ancient.




The camera flash ruined the effect, but we were glowing from the black light. That's why we had written on every exposed bit of skin with highlighters. Silly, but fun. (I gave Kendall fluorescent yellow earrings and was very pleased with effect.)

Bedtime- Forgetfulness and Poop

Bedtime. Arghhhhh!!!

It can be one of the most frustrating parts of my day. And I'm (hopefully) done with it for tonight. But it took a lot of talking.

Eli and Evan had a great time at the babysitter's tonight. As so often happens, a great time comes home to a grouchy time. So we got home and Eli and Evan were being incredibly grumpy and calling me "Meanie" and all the usual stuff. (Of course Kendall was only home long enough to be cool and fun before he had to head off to work.) Eli was mad at me because I didn't wash his penguin pajamas today and he wanted to wear them tonight. So after that everything was all my fault- he traced it all back to the "thing with the jammies."

Finally, I had them in bed. Apparently I started saying something then stopped and said something else instead. I barely remember this. This is exactly the kind of thing that drives Eli crazy. For the next very long time we went round and round. Eli begged me to say what I had been going to say and I couldn't remember. He begged, nearly coming to tears a couple times.

So Eli gave me a choice: He thought that either he could ask me questions to help jog my memory or I could just think really hard and remember. So, okay, ask me questions. "Was it something about going to someone's house? Are we going to have pizza for lunch tomorrow? Was it about me and Evan sleeping together? Was it something about punishing us? Was it about moving or changing houses? Or going to a store?" The only one of those that slightly rang a bell was the one about punishing them. Grrr... He even wanted me to call Kendall at work to ask him what it might have been.

He just would not take "I just can't remember" for an answer. He even said, "If you can remember when I was a baby, why can't you remember this?" I took it from there, thinking that this could be a good diversion. "Eli," I said, "I remember when you were a baby because that was such an important and special time. I had my little baby, Eli Kendall. You were so important. People can usually remember important things, but not always the unimportant things. So this must not have been important." Even that didn't work.

Eventually, I just had to forbid him to talk about it anymore. After that, I heard him mutter, "Having a baby's not important." Ahhh!!!

Anyway, they're quiet now. It's actually one of those rare evenings when they stay in their bed and I only yelled in there once when Evan wanted me to come cover him up: "If I come in there I'm going to take away your monkey!" It helped that Evan had to go poop during the shenanigan with Eli. Then I was able to tell him, "You are not going to be allowed to come out to go poop again." (He's still maintaining his ability to squeeze out some poop most nights after he's supposed to be falling asleep. It's always a good way to get permission to come out of his room.)

But yes, as I was saying, they're quiet now. All is (for the moment) well on the home front.

A Valentine's Ode to my Invincible Bushman

Following are some of my favorite images of my bushman husband. Some I have personally witnessed, others I’ve only heard stories about or seen photos of, and others I clearly picture in my minds eye.

Springtime sucker fishing in cold, deep water. Wading around with friends, grabbing fish out of the water with bare hands. Having a sucker fish fight with his friends.

Kendall as a boy, arguing with Keith over how to best build a fire.

Snowshoeing late at night with his family as the wolves howled nearby.

Coming in from the snowy outdoors, chilled to the bone, and sitting in front of his fireplace to thaw out.

Stepping inside his house and, rather than taking off his wet boots, using the loose rug to slide through the kitchen.

Expertly pulling his snowmobile out of the slush or his 4-wheeler out of the mud.

Using his skills at filleting and frying fish.

Helping me get all my snow gear in place.

Now, helping the boys get all their snow gear in place.

Practicing and mastering fire-building skills. Later, teaching me and the boys the ins and outs of building a good fire.

Expertly steering his canoe through rapids.

Taking off his mitts, like a weathered old man, to better use his hands in the extreme cold.

Sitting in the canoe with me. It was late on a summer night, the sky was still slightly pink. Everything was quiet except for the unfamiliar noises that my ears didn’t immediately pick up. Kendall explained to me the flapping of the grouse’s wings that we heard on shore. The loons were calling.

I love the image of Kendall as a boy- outdoors and feeling so confident and at home.

I see how this land is so deeply ingrained in Kendall. It really is a part of who he is. Watching the ease and confidence with which he handles himself outdoors is one of the things that draws me to him.

Happy Valentine's Day!