A Experiment With Whining

I have been driven nearly to the brink of insanity. It's the whining. High-pitched, the-world's-gonna-fall-apart whining. Sometimes accompanied by desperate jumping up and down.

Evan understands the difference between normal talking and whining. When he scream/whines, "Mommy! Help me!", I tell him, "Say, 'Mom, could you please help me with this?'" And he will repeat that back to me in a nice, calm voice. Complicating everything is the fact that he sometimes just plain talks in a high voice. So when I am on edge from the whining, it's hard for me to distinguish normal talking from whining.

Anyway, I have felt at a loss for how to work with this issue. It triggers a highly emotional response in me, making it hard to respond rationally. And whining back at a kid isn't an effective way to deal with whining. Trust me, I've tried it- though not on purpose.

So the other night I sat down with the good ol' internet to gather some ideas. After reading different articles and message boards, I came up with plan. I printed out 4 pictures like this:


On 3 of the pictures, I drew a line through the whining Calvin. (That is 'No Whining' for my little non-reader.) One I left as it was. I posted the 3 'No Whining' signs in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room. The one without a line through it, I posted in the boys' bedroom. Now I was ready for the next day.

The next morning I explained to Evan that the signs meant that these rooms were 'No Whining Zones.' He would not be allowed to whine in these rooms. If he started whining, I would remind him of the sign. He could then either change his tone or go to his room, the designated 'Whining Zone.' If he kept whining and refused to go to the 'Whining Zone,' I would carry him there. He was allowed to whine all he wanted in his room. He seemed to like the idea.

Now, I'm not saying that everything went so well after that. For example, that evening he was taking forever to fold his laundry. Finally I told him that Eli and I would start eating supper soon and he would not be allowed to sit down at the table until his laundry was put away. He slowly folded his laundry and put it away, all while crying loudly for a good 10 minutes. Did that count as whining? Probably. Did I send him to the 'Whining Zone?'. Oops.

But, here's what happened later: He started whining about something and I pointed to the 'No Whining' sign. No joke- He abruptly stopped mid-whine and asked me his question in a very pleasant tone! I could not believe it! It was hilarious.

So, the experiment is off to a good start. We'll see where it goes from here.