Happy Hunting Cake

Here is the cake Kendall made for the boys Saturday night. Eli had requested a hunting cake. Kendall made his favorite chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting. Then he made a lake and river on it with blue frosting. In case you can't see, there is a moose, deer, bear, and pine tree in the yummy peanut butter wilderness.

I just wanted to brag on Kendall. He’s so artistic.

Clarification

I think I need to make a little clarification. I've talked about grouse in an earlier post and was corrected that the spelling should be g-r-o-s-s. Yes, looking at the photo of Eli contemplating his supper, I think that is an appropriate spelling. But while in Indiana I learned of a belief that is perhaps affecting people's perceptions of this particular meat. You see, some dear friends, whom I will not name, were asking me about grouse hunting. "What do they look like?" I was asked. I responded that they look like little chickens. "Oh!" this dear and unnamed friend said, "I thought they were rodents!" Now I understand more fully why Dear Unnamed Friend begged me so adamantly to not make her eat grouse when she visits. I promise I won't. And I just want to make clear for those of you who are not from the north that grouse are closer to chickens than rats. Not to say we won't ever try rodent meat.... Any squirrel recipes to share? I'll let you know how that turns out.

Inuksuk: Our Ebenezer

Red Lake is at the end of the road. Highway 105 comes to a T at the only light in town. There it ends. It doesn't go any farther north. During the five hour drive between the Canada/US border and the end of Highway 105, you pass a lot of rock piles like this one. The traditional name is inuksuk. They are rocks left as markers since long ago.

"When you look at an old Inuksuk, you are seeing more than just a stack of stones. You are seeing the thoughts of another person left upon the land." Norman Hallendy

Ever since we've decided to make the move to Red Lake, I've been looking forward to raising our Ebenezer. So tonight we stopped along the road to do just that as a family. It's a marker for me. God has brought us this far. I will look back at this time in our lives and remember that God brought us here.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Home Again

Well, we're back at home in Red Lake. (Yes, that choice of words was deliberate.) We were home in Indiana, now we're home in Red Lake. If that sounds confusing, imagine how it feels for the boys. But they're handling it really well. And even though moving to Canada and visiting Indiana and going back to Canada brings up some emotions in all of us, Eli and Evan are part of the reason I know it's right that we moved here for this time in our lives.

In Indiana I had different conversations about how we are doing/how the transition has been/how I'm feeling about being in Canada. It was good for me to put some of the jumble of thoughts and feelings over the past months into words. So here's some of what I told people:

We are doing well. It's going really well. I'm glad we're here. There's another side to it too. Moving up here and becoming part of a new community has been difficult. Sometimes I really struggle, but more than having good days or bad days, it's like the expression "two sides of the same coin." I miss people and life in Goshen. It's hard to start over with friends. But overall, it seems very right that we are here.

Several weeks ago my mom mentioned that even though she knows I struggle, there is something peaceful and right that she sees in our faces in photos. Something about that rang so true with me. That's how I feel. When we drive down Howie Street, Evan points out the library to us. When we cross a certain bridge, the boys point out "our special secret fishing spot." They point out people's houses. They ask to knock on Kendra's door to say hello. They yell "Hi Lamar!" whenever they see him across the parking lot. They even recognize some of the street people and apparently have a favorite. As we passed one man that we see a lot Eli said, "That's my best guy who drinks too much alcohol." They play beaver house and grouse hunting. They know that we like walleye, but aren't so fond of northern pike. They know the circle through the church that is most fun to run with the other boys after the service. They're so happy when they're tromping through the bush. They're comfortable shooting a shotgun. They've gotten good at killing mosquitoes. They're learning to call moose. (That one about shooting a gun was a little joke.)

What I'm trying to say is that it's when I observe them having these experiences and when the experiences become normal for them that I know it's right that we're here. It's good for them to experience something different. They need to experience some of their daddy's life. And I do too.

It also seems so right that we're here when I think about Kendall. He doesn't just absolutely love every moment here. It's been hard for him- in some areas maybe harder than it has been for me. But Kendall didn't expect that it would be heaven. (I think he hoped it would be, but knew that wasn't realistic.) It's difficult to put it into words, but I think there is something about being here that is good for his spirit. This place is a part of Kendall. It's a part of him that I loved until I realized that it might require something really hard from me. But I mostly love it again. And being here for this time in our lives nourishes something in Kendall. It felt really good to be in Indiana. It's been a great summer. I have no regrets about being here for the summer and a part of me wanted Kendall to call and say, "We'll just move back to Indiana." But now I know that if Kendall would say that he doesn't like his job at the hospital here or for whatever reason he just thinks we should move back to Goshen right now, he would have a fight on his hands. I would tell him that I think we need more time in Red Lake than 3 short months. (Of course, he's not considering saying that to me and I feel fear when I wonder if we'll be on the same page at the end of the year. But we'll trust God to work in us in that area.)

The other reason I know it's right that we're in Red Lake is for me. I am learning a lot. I take pride in my bannock-making skills, but it's so much more than that. It's good for me to join a new community. It's good for me to experience being the foreigner. It's good for me to follow my husband and take on some of his identity after years of him following me and taking my friends and my community and my family. I'm learning more about myself. And much more. But you already hear much of that in my posts.

So that's some of what I've been processing over the past week. I do miss Goshen and my relationships there. It was hard to say goodbye again and to watch Eli and Evan say goodbye again. But I am so thankful that right now my doubts about being at home in Red Lake are few. We're doing really well.

Spots on the Wall, by Who Flung Dung

Some of you have heard of this famous book. I have experienced it.

Today Evan had an URGENT need: "Poop Mommy!"

We rushed into the bathroom. I pulled down his pants and said, "Kick your feet!" (To get his pants off. It works better that way.)

Evan kicked his feet. I heard something splat against the wall. It was a turd. Well, I didn't realize one had already escaped and taken up temporary residence in Evan's underwear. Apparently, his kicking flung that dung out to where it stuck the wall.

"Evan," I said, "Look!"

We laughed about it until I finally removed it and put it where it belonged. (Sorry, no photos this time.)

Kendall’s Hometown

The other night we attended a school picnic with Eli. I was happy to see how many people I recognized. After 3 months of pushing myself to get involved, I have met quite a few new people. And I recognize a lot of people from around town. I know that they're so and so's mom or I see them walking pushing a stroller a lot or they own a local business. Kendall struck up a conversation with a woman that I only knew as "Elise's mom" because I've seen her walking around town with her children and I knew her daughter from Bible School. I was surprised that he knew her. Turns out she had gone to the same school he did. I asked him how many people he recognized at the picnic.

"Not many," he said. "Maybe a fourth of them."

Well, if you ask me, that's a lot!

Girl Interrupted

Yesterday Kendall and I decided to seize an opportunity for a mini date. I called my friend, Wendy, and asked if she could have the kids for an hour and a half over lunch. As I've mentioned before, dates are a rare occurrence. Therefore, they are precious.

Well, we got to the restaurant and sat down. Kendall and I had a rough couple days and I was right in the middle of my apology. Then I saw a familiar-looking head move along the sidewalk outside the window I was facing. She came in.

"Kendall," I said, "some flexibility may be required. I think your friend's mom just walked in." (This was the mom of Kendall's childhood friend. I mentioned her before when she was arguing with another local woman about who had more claim to my husband. She was the one who cussed out Kendall a time or two when he was young and she answered the phone drunk. She appears to be beyond that now and lives a more stable life. And in spite of the arguing and past cussing, she likes Kendall a lot.)

Anyway, Kendall looked over to the door and there she stood. Seeing us sitting there, she came over and joined us. Then she ordered tea. Oh… I think she's staying for awhile. Well, I tried to be flexible and I think I succeeded. She sat and talked with us for awhile. Then Kendall slyly worked it into the conversation that we were on a date. Surprised, she quickly apologized and said that she should leave us alone. We said that it was okay and then she didn't leave us alone. J But after awhile she stood up to leave and we said goodbye.

She went to pay. After a bit, she came back and said that she had forgotten something. She grabbed our bill off the table and walked away without looking back.

By the way, I did eventually get back to the apology.