Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday
We drove out into the bush about 45 minutes. Then we unloaded the truck and put the canoe onto the trailer, which we pulled with the 4-wheeler. Unfortunately, there was no room for me on the whole contraption. So I walked behind for 15-20 minutes.
Then we got to a smaller trail going down to the water. We pulled the canoe off of the trailer and loaded it onto a even smaller canoe transporter, another nifty invention of Kendall's, though I'm not too fond of it at this point. I am sad to say that I was the one to help Kendall with his canoe transporter for the first time. It was painful. We found a few kinks, to say the least. So we FOUGHT with that thing all the way down a long, rough trail.
So, this lake was where Kendall and his family did lots of moose hunting while growing up. We got to hear stories and see the actual places where familiar stories happened. (Eli later said that that was one of his favorite parts about the day.)
Finally it was suppertime. We stopped on a big rock island. We never see large wildlife because we have two young boys. They make sure to let any animal near or far know that we are around. Sometimes I really want them to be quiet for a bit so that I can hear the silence and the wildlife, but mostly we just go with it. So we were "just going with it" while we ate supper. Eli was in the middle of one of his monologues that are mostly to himself and include lots of sound effects. All of the sudden, Kendall said, "There's a moose!" That got us all quiet! And sure enough, 100-125 yards away a moose was sticking its head out of the bush! We watched as it slowly made its way out into the shallow water. And there it stood and ate for a very long time. We finished our supper in more silence than I've ever known our family to have. A beaver was also in the area and kept smacking its tail against the water, perhaps to warn the unsuspecting moose. Kendall thought it looked pregnant- moose have their calves in a few weeks. After we finished eating, we quietly got into the canoe to see how close we could get to it. We silently paddled around the back of the island and came out closer to the moose, but now she had noticed us as soon as we got into the canoe and didn't last long before moving back into the bush.
It was pretty amazing to see the moose. Especially with our noisy family along. I have been informed, however, that I am not to give out the exact location of our moose sighting. Apparently, someone has his sights set on it for moose hunting and doesn't want competition.
For all its tail-smacking, the beaver was pretty oblivious to us when we paddled up to it. When it finally saw us, it dove under the water with a huge smack.
Ask him sometime, he might be willing to show off his skills.
I cannot believe that I have been here in the wild for nearly 2 years and this was my first taste of Klik. (That's Spam, for the Americans.) Nothing like a loaf of canned....meat? Mmmm. I made it with bannock and Eli was in love. He requested a Klik and bannock sandwich for school.
My favorite 3 men.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Flabbergasted
This was me this morning. Yes, that is a whole pile of parenting books with paper to take notes and a highlighter to highlight.
I am at my wit’s end with parenting. (Note the family picture behind me. It's been that way for days and somehow fits how I feel.)
Not that I don’t enjoy our kids. I do very much enjoy them. It’s just that they flabbergast me. There are some issues that I think need to be nipped in the bud. And I have no idea how.
It’s not the all-out fighting that bothers me. (Complete with “cannonballs”- a direct quote from Eli the Avenger- onto the other’s stomach. I know- it’s horrible and that’s why we were flabbergasted.) It’s not the recent shoplifting that bothers me. (That was Evan yesterday. I had no idea, but he apparently wanted me to know by last night when he came up to me sheepishly rattling the keychain in his pocket. Today after school we took the keychain back to the store. He handed it to the owner- thankfully a good family friend- and apologized, nearly bringing me to tears of pride and compassion and love.) It’s not even the fact that on several occasions, when asked what he wants to be when he grows up, Evan has said, “A bad guy.”
It’s the attitudes behind everything that are really bothering me. They fight and at times amaze me with their violence, but over all of that, they really are best buddies, brothers to the end. Sure, Evan was a little filcher yesterday, but he was very willing to return the item, even if it was hard. And… okay, the “bad guy” thing does sort of bother me.
It’s the attitude.
Like when Evan was demanding something after he was in bed. When Kendall and I refused to give in, he came out to the living room and with great deliberation stated in no uncertain terms that if we didn’t give in to his demands, “I’ll bite you.” Or when he refused to back down after stating the classic, “You’re not my boss.” Sometimes, I’ve agreed with that statement, saying, “That’s right, you are your own boss. You choose whether to make a good decision or a bad decision. And I give you the consequences you have to have.” But this time it just really ticked me off.
Sometimes I feel so behind in my mothering. Like I just need some time to sit down and brainstorm.
I need time to make resolutions: I will not yell. I will not get worked up. I will calmly deal with situations.
I need time to make a plan: When Evan once again comes out of his bedroom after being tucked in, I will_____________. When they are fighting like little gladiators, I will ______________.
I need time to think about issues: Is setting up a reward system just fueling our materialistic tendencies or a sense of entitlement? Is it right or wrong to make a child apologize? How do I incorporate Bible in a hopeful and helpful way, desperately trying to avoid making it religious or punishing?
I need time to make things: Another chart. A more creative chart. A poster. A toolbox.
Whew. Maybe I need to relax.
Of course I know that the most important thing is that they feel loved. And though Kendall and I don’t always handle our frustration in the best way, I know Eli and Evan are confident in our love for them.
I also know that we really need to work on attitudes in this home- all of us. I just so often feel at a loss. I often feel like my frustration is blocking me from working with my kids in a helpful way. And sometimes I’m just plain flabbergasted.
So I will end with hopeful words: “And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will.” Hebrews 13:20-21
Cheers! To finding a balance! (And to finding the perfect parenting book! You know, the one with the 7 simple, effortless and painless steps to creating perfect children in 7 days or less. )
Here we are: Three flabbergasting fishermen and one behind the camera.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
A Baby for 2 Nights
Thursday night was the first emergency call we’ve received for fostering.
The worker brought a little 18-month old boy to us very late that night. He and his mom are from out of town, but are in Red Lake right now at the women’s shelter. She was intoxicated and they thought he was sick. So they needed a place for him.
She brought him into the house and I took him as she ran back out to get his bag. He quietly looked around. I felt like crying. How scary for him.
It was strange to get him so spur-of-the-moment like that. No list outlining his routine. No details about bottles. No idea of what he liked to eat. No information about allergies. Does he sleep with lots of clothes or just with a t-shirt? Does he lie in his bed to go to sleep or like to be rocked to sleep? Does he like his milk warmed up or straight from the fridge? Is that actually milk? Because the milk in the 2 bottles that came with him looks yellow, like evaporated milk, which is commonly given to babies up here, but tastes quite different.
Well, 2 days later and I still don’t know the answers to most of those questions. He didn’t like being put in his bed awake. He really liked Kendall, so Kendall held him that first night until he fell asleep. He gagged on the whole milk I gave him, so I think it was evaporated milk in his bottles. But then again, he gagged on bread with jam, on a chunk of sweet potato, on a kidney bean, and on vanilla pudding (which looked suspiciously like tomato soup).
That first night after the social worker left, he crawled around to couch to look at Kendall. Kendall held out his hands to the little guy and he shot across the floor to Kendall. He was so cuddly. The next morning when Eli and Evan got up I told them that a baby was sleeping in our spare room. When I got him out of bed, he crawled out to the living room and looked at the boys. I told them to hold their hands out to him. They did and he shot across the floor to them.
This is how they sat for awhile after that:
Eli and Evan, of course, loved having a baby around. Especially one who seemed so eager to hug them and be held.
So we had this little guy for 2 nights. Someone came this morning to take him to a different home until other arrangements are made. It was sad to see him go and to wonder what’s ahead for him and his mom. I found myself praying for and thinking about his mom this weekend as I prayed for him.
Eli and Evan told me that they wish he would be their brother. They wish there were more than just the 2 of them. Tonight when I asked the boys who they wanted to pray for, Eli said he wanted to pray for this little guy. He prayed that he would be safe and that he would remember us for awhile.
Please don't pay too much attention to how casually and absently Eli elbows his little brother in the head. (And sorry I don't know how to turn this the right way.)
April Fool's Day
So, Thursday was April Fool’s Day and I had way too much fun tormenting my sons. Finally, a real excuse!
As I looked for ideas online the day before, I was practically giggling in glee.
First of all, Thursday morning, Eli and I put saran wrap across Evan’s and Kendall’s doorways. When they got up, they both walked into an invisible wall. (Kendall clearly saw his- and it was his idea the night before, but he put on a good show for the boys.)
Then I put a few drops of food coloring in the bottom of their cereal bowls. When I poured in the milk and they stirred their cereal, their milk turned blue!
Then I got “juice” out of the fridge for them. Their “juice” was actually orange jello. I had poured it into cups to gel and had put a straw in the “juice.”
They enjoyed the morning tricks, but Kendall overheard Eli telling Evan that he was worried about these April Fool’s jokes. He knew there were more to come. Mwa-ha-ha! (That’s an evil laugh.)
I put a creepy crawly in both of their lunch boxes for school. Eli said he was not fooled at all by the disgusting rat in his lunch, but he loved it and showed it off. Evan, on the other hand, was fooled by his iguana for a split second. From what I gathered, he never said a word about it to his classmates and didn’t pull it out of the bag until Eli asked him to bring it outside at recess. I purposely chose a less creepy one for Evan.
After school I had “fish sticks” for them. They were actually chocolate bars rolled in graham cracker crumbs. When we went ice fishing that evening I gave them thermoses of “tomato soup,” which was vanilla pudding with red food coloring in it. They weren’t easily fooled by that time.
Anyway, April Fool’s Day was way too fun and I need to start collecting ideas for next year.
Amusing Photos
Perhaps I loved it more than a mature 33-year old should.
(Hmm...it's strange, but I very much think of myself as 34. I just typed that instead of 33 and now that I realized that mistake, I remember that I recently told someone I was 34 and didn't catch it until now. And tonight during a conversation, I did some rough math in my head and came up with my age at Evan's birth as 30. That just didn't seem right, but I didn't take time to remember that I'm not yet 34. How weird.)